Another example of Ezra Dyer being one of the few great humorous automotive writers you can find

The most incredible thing about the all-wheel-drive Veyron is not its engine but its drivetrain. A Veyron just digs in and goes. I try not to indulge in hyperbole, but when I floor the Veyron, we pass a tribe of Morlocks and the Wicked Witch of the West, and the sky turns green and commuters fly past on personal dirigibles, and then I hit the brakes and we return to our dimension.

I have a split second to think, "Hey, this is fast but controllable." Then the turbos hit.
It's like a bomb went off behind the rear bumper and we're surfing the shockwave. I upshift and it happens again, except now we're going much faster. The rear end scrabbles for traction and I find myself countersteering at perhaps 65 mph. I back off the gas, because I am not ready to visit third gear of the Mosler Raptor on this particular street. Not even if Waylon Jennings were sitting next to me singing the Dukes of Hazzard theme song.

http://www.automobilemag.com/features/columns/1201_dyer_consequences_has_rear_wheel_drive_reached_its_limit/index.html 

A good article "I wouldn't test drive a Lincoln for $50"

Read this amusing look at what a problem Lincoln is in, and why Bill didn't take them up on the 50 dollar payout to test drive a Lincoln. http://youarewhatyoudrive.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-wouldnt-test-drive-lincoln-for-50.html

Ezra Dyer, terrific funny writer, his latest column excerpt

Speaking of the Ferrari 458 Italia:

" ... the 458 makes its horsepower peak at its redline. So if you want to access all 562 hp, you have to hang in there until 9000 rpm. In fact, if you let the tach drop below the 7000 rpm, it will start raining because you made Enzo Ferrari cry from heaven. " Love this guys writing!

If you want to read a couple articles from Ezra, and he writes for Men's Journal and Autmobile Magazine, there are some online:

http://www.automobilemag.com/features/columns/0805_dyer_consequences_celestial_driving_system/index.html http://www.automobilemag.com/features/columns/0804_dyer_consequences/index.html http://www.automobilemag.com/features/columns/0806_dyer_consequences/index.html

I often get solicited to post someones article, list, or link to their site, but don't. Here are some I'm interested in if you want my attention

10 best websites for what ever... especially how you rank your top 10 favorite blogs
10 worst mechanics,
10 worst ripoffs in the auto world (besides Bernie Madoff),
10 hardest repairs due to engineering shortsightedness,
10 most difficult to diagnose problems with your car,
10 easiest things you can troubleshoot your self (battery dead? Voltage regulator? or Starter? is the most common problem) ,
10 cheapest insurance companies (did that myself a couple years ago),
10 insurance companies to avoid,
10 women that broke a mechanics heart,
10 women that will destroy your mechanics ego by knowing his job better than he does,
10 best jobs in the mechanics world,
10 best auto related companies to work for (pep boys, sears, discount tire, AAA, or what?)
10 coolest bosses you've worked for,
10 best fringe benefits from working at your shop,
10 nicest people you've met while getting a quote on your repair
10 coolest conversations while waiting for your car to get fixed (mine was a WW2 Battleship gunner telling me about the USS Iowa)
10 best trades for work (spare engine for a repair on your truck?)
10 ways insurance companies screwed you out of your claim, even if it was because you weren't fluent in insurance lingo and missed the thing you could have done to save your self a headache
10 cheapest places to get new tires

funniest thing I read all day, the writing of Scott Longman in Mopar Action, Feb 2011 issue, '68 Power Wagon feature

"Displacement! No, MORE displacement! No, more than THAT! Offset journals and crank throws and who gives a good rat's thyroid if the piston skirts are in contact with the holes at the bottom end!

496 CID? No! More! 500? Keep at it! A Callies crank? 540? Yes!

540 flag waving, magnificent, glory laden American cubic inches! But flow? Heads! From Indy! Fire hoses have less flow! Fuel injection? Not a chance! No drama! No history!

Carbs! Leviathan carbs! 900! No! 1,000! What, are you lame? 1,100! Yes! 2200 CFM worth of carbs at full throttle that look like the Deep Throat Tunnel project during a class 5 rainstorm!

And what do you mean, atmospheric pressure? If I want atmospheric pressure, I'll inhale! Belts! Blowers! Boost! No, MORE boost! No, more than THAT! A Procharger F1R!

Dammit Boost is America! Why the hell did we go through the revolutionary war and adopt Adam Smith and put up the flag on Mt Suribachi and survive Jimmy Carter if we aren't going to have boost? How's 20 pounds? 20? Not a chance! make it a nice round number like 29! What? The motor will blow up? Intercoolers! No, bigger than that!

Set to chill Chernobyl! Heat exchangers that hang icicles in Hades! We're going for a column of air that would flash freeze green beans, denser that Elena Kagan, but half the weight and triple the throughput!"

Why I read Ezra Dyer's column in Automobile Magazine

The Buick Lacrosse's interior is so quiet that you often reutrn to find it infested with monks. It's so quiet, it told some ninjas to pipe down.

...Ezra Dyer

Automotive columnist for Edmunds and formerly for the LA Times, regular contributor to Rodder's Journal, former exec. director of the Peterson Museum

He writes regularly for Rodd Report, Rodder's Journal, Road and Track, Automotive Magazine.

"Few writers in the realm of automotive literature can match Ken Gross's way with words," described the award's chief judge, David Hess of Springfield, Virginia.

"His encyclopedic grasp of automotive science, design and technology shines through his columns in ways that even lay readers can understand. He combines this knowledge with a fluent command of language that stokes the senses in one's mind, to the point of hearing thrumming cylinders and sniffing the tangy odor of hot engine oil."

Gross is a freelance writer whose column "Road Warrior" has appeared on Inside Line since the site's launch in January 2005.

http://www.edmunds.com/insideline/do/ColumnsIndex/subsubtypeId=219/subsubtypeName=Road%20Warrior

This is funny stuff! From "The Mechanic"

For the record, killing is bad and should be avoided, along with Brussels sprouts and flip-flops in the workplace. Still, I call this one Kill the Car Guy. It's a phrase I've just had enough of. Everybody's a car guy these days; just ask them.

You used to have real credentials to call yourself a car guy. Grated knuckle skin. Greasy fingernails. R Compound tires. A racing trophy. Proof you've been to some racetrack somewhere at sometime. A basic understanding of the internal combustion engine. Knowing how to heel-and-toe downshift. Knowing how to do a proper burnout. Knowing the GT-R is not the new Skyline. Knowing which one is Bo and which is Luke. Something.

Relax. I'm not saying you need to know all this stuff to qualify. It's not that simple. There's no litmus test here. You just need to invest in cars. What you choose to invest is up to you: could be your time, your brain power, your garage space, your weekends, your marriage, or of course all of the above. I don't care what it is, but I know this; being a car guy should not be free.

There was a time when it wasn't. As little as a decade ago, car guy status still had to be earned. Earned through your knowledge and your actions. You had to have real passion for this stuff; you weren't in the club just because you wanted to be. You had to truly care and you had to make the sacrifices that come along with the commitment. It wasn't enough for cars to be just a passing interest, they had to be a high priority, an very important part of your life.

And now that every knit shirt knows Ol' Shel tuned up some Mustangs 100 years ago, that's not enough to qualify you anymore. Mrs. The Mechanic knows that much. If you're going to use your Shelby knowledge to substantiate your car guy qualifications, you better know what year he won Le Mans and what he was driving.

If not, get off my lawn.

http://blogs.edmunds.com/straightline/2008/10/kill-the-car-guy.html

Automobile magazine Sept '08 issue, excerpt from page 101

referring to the F1 McLarens that are demolished, wrecked, and so on.... "untold numbers have been destroyed at the hands of overexhuberant owners or their spoiled-rotten children, ungrateful oddspring who should be damned to spend all eternity sitting in traffic at the 101/405 interchange in Los Angeles, wedged into the third-row seat of a clapped-out Plymouth Grand Voyager between Bill O'Reilly and a wet dog. With a full bladder. The F1 was that good." http://www.automobilemag.com/index.html

Truely superb writing on repairing Michigan roads, and how moronic it is

http://www.autoblog.com/2008/03/10/autoblog-how-to-building-a-michigan-road/

Comic writing mixed with the science of frost heaves, ice splits, and self service patch tamping ... "Winters can get cold in Michigan, but they tend not stay that way for long. It's not at all unusual to have temperatures cycling between 10F and 40F several times within the same week. As the melted snow seeps into those cracks, re-freezes and expands, it can rupture even the toughest concrete and asphalt is no match. "